Recovery gummies · 30 single-serve sachets
MORON AFTER
Nine actives, three jobs: get the hangover down, keep your gut from taking the hit, and protect the sleep alcohol quietly ruins. One sachet holds a full 1,000mg of DHM — the dose the research actually uses. Pocket one on the way out.
The whole argument
1,000mg. Not 300.
Most recovery products give you 300mg of DHM and hope you don't go looking for the studies. We give you the dose the research actually uses. It's one sachet. That's the entire trick.
MORON AFTER
1,000mg DHM
Typical "recovery" gummy
300mg, if stated
Hidden in a blend
unknowable
Supplement facts
The whole label, on the page.
You shouldn't have to squint at a pouch in a shop to find out what you're buying. Here it is, in full, before you spend anything.
Supplement Facts
Serving: 1 sachet (3 gummies)
DHM (Dihydromyricetin)
1,000mg — the dose used in the actual research
Milk Thistle Extract
300mg — 80% silymarin, for the organ doing the work
L-Cysteine
200mg — binds acetaldehyde, the thing that makes you feel poisoned
Prickly Pear Extract
200mg — the one ingredient with human data on hangover severity
L-Theanine
200mg — calm without sedation. no melatonin, on purpose
Ginger Extract
100mg — nausea. unglamorous, works
Zinc L-Carnosine
75mg — gut lining, and replaces the zinc alcohol strips out
Vitamin B1 (Thiamine)
50mg — alcohol depletes it, so we put it back
S. boulardii
5 billion CFU — alcohol wrecks the gut barrier. this helps hold it
B6 · B12 · Folate
10mg · 500mcg · 400mcg — the grogginess vitamins
Electrolyte blend
none. drink water — it's free and it works
"Proprietary blend"
none. we don't do those.
Other ingredients: pectin, cane sugar, water, citric acid, natural blood orange flavour, organic fruit juice (colour). No melatonin, no electrolytes, no proprietary blends.
Step 01
Rip one open, before bed
After the last drink, not the first. One sachet is one full serving — three gummies, and that's where the 1,000mg comes from. No counting, no measuring.
Step 02
Drink a glass of water
We're not going to sell you an electrolyte sachet for this. Water is free, it's already in your kitchen, and it's genuinely the other half of the job.
Step 03
Wake up a person
That's the whole routine. No powder to mix, no 6am alarm for a second dose, no morning stack sold separately.
Honest about what this is.
What it is
Nine actives at full doses, taken as one sachet before bed. It takes the edge off the hangover, gives your gut some cover, and protects the sleep you're about to lose. Dosed at the level the studies actually used, and printed on the front.
What it isn't
A hangover cure. Permission to go harder. A reason to skip the water. If a brand promises you'll wake up brand new, check whether they printed their doses — they almost never have.
MORON
.
health
Health, made stupidly simple. Full doses, plain words, lab results attached.
These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. Not a hangover cure — just the stuff a night out drains, put back.
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